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Feb 14, 2009 | mtg, humor
Point/Counterpoint: Powerstone Minefield vs. Mobilization
by ein

Uh Oh, Something Feels Wrong

Something doesn't feel right. I haven't felt good for a while now. I suppose one could think it odd for a landscape to have an illness, but I assure you, I have one. Could this be due to the impending flip of Earth's magnetic poles? Regardless, something is off. None of my grass is still alive and all the rabbits and foxes that used to live in burrows on my land are torched beyond recognition. Even the carrion birds that would like to eat those crispy little critters are staying away.

*cough* *cough*

Hmmm, I don't sound very good. Maybe I should take a nap. Yeah, a nap sounds pretty good. I hope for everyones sake I am not disturbed by that ominous looking mass of people off to my left. They are in for a rude surprise if I am disturbed while napping.



Retreat, Men, Retreat... OH NO, IT'S TOO LAaaaaaaaa... IT BURNS!

A soldier a turn, that's pretty good right? Eventually, we're going to build up to two soldiers a turn, and then... look out! Until then, I should put another token into play. Building an army has never been easier. Well, never been easier if you're not a thallid that is. But, I digress. There is work to be done. We thus far can't outfit our soldiers with anything more than the swords on their backs. I've been fighting so long, I can't even remember who we're fighting against. No matter, I'm just here to make soldiers; guess I'll put another one into play. I wonder what these guys do all day? I've heard of other armies putting their skulls in clamps, but what good does that do? Motivation? I highly doubt that. The poor people they put in there end up in mass graves, or so I've heard.

Oh, wait... what's this? The call to attack? This must be it! I am so proud of all of you men, I just wanted you to know. Mind what you have learned, save you it can. One of you needs to stay back and guard the fort, right? Oh, right, I will just make another to guard. Nevermind.

Is that screaming I hear? What is going on over there?

That is screaming! Oh no! My poor soldiers, they are dying and dying. And for what? They haven't done anything to anyone. I think I might cry. Please make it back to me safely, men. I will miss you if you're gone forever. Why would anyone do something like this to my soldiers. It's not like they are important to anyone but me. They aren't even real people, they're just tokens. Don't they deserve a chance?

Wait... I can just make more. Whatever.


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