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March 24, 2008 | general gamery, humor
Leaked Info About Next Smash Bros. Game
by peppersprayed (w/ PaZ)
Though Super Smash Bros. Brawl was just released two weeks ago, Good Gamery has discovered that Nintendo is already hard at work on the sequel: "Super Smash Bros. Altercation." Today we'll be looking at a few of the new characters that have been leaked.
Peppy
Peppy features the fastest wheelchair based attacks in the game. His final smash is "summon orderly."
The Black M.C. Kid
Named Mac, the black M.C. Kid loves McDonald's and sports the hairdo popularized by Kid from Kid & Play. His final smash involves touching a crescent moon block, which turns his skin white.
Krystal
Krystal is rather similar to Wolf, Falco, and Fox. Her final smash is the landmaster furry stampede which calls forth dozens of creepy nerds lacking in hygiene and social aptitude that will destroy everything in their wake.
Every Single Pokemon
"Due to popular demand, we've gotta include 'em all!" says Nintendo. Unlock them with only 10,000 hours of gameplay, far less than it would take to catch your own.
Giygas
This "Earthbound" character is a bit tricky to play due to the form of his attacks being incomprehensible.
Cloud
While it's true that Final Fantasy 7 has never appeared on any Nintendo platform, Nintendo reminds us that they have worked with Square, and "that should suffice." Cloud's limit break final smash is the emoslash.
Fighter
Another inclusion from the Final Fantasy universe, Fighter can barely move, but merely stepping forward allows him to attack any character no matter how distant.
The Entire Cast of DragonBall Z
What do Nintendo and DragonBall have in common? "Nothing, but we included these guys anyway," our source explained. Few details are known at this point, but DragonBall characters are most notable for the fact that their attack power increases the longer they yell.
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